ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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