It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
