No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I got her a Nickelback box set.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
