you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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