hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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