my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
