How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
