That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize