I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
