Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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