Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
