Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
