ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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