maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
