At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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