420 ftw
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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