So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
