I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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