I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
