well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize