Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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