Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
being pregnant is like rehab
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize