There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
