The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
