I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
