did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
