Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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