Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize