What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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