That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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