Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
