Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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