but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
