have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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