We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
