Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
