i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
