even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
