just come out here and I will go home with you...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
