Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
