he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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