***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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