so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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