it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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