smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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