Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
