evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
