so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
a search helicopter?!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
my poor anus
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
