i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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