Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
