On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
