If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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