No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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