so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I did not marry a roomba.
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