Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
