..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize