idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
