YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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