You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
