i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize