I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
