it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
