This girl is more easily done than said...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
