I think my vagina is haunted
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize