The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
