the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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