halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My vagina just clenched in fear
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
