YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
