no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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