Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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